The weather is getting colder, the kids are shopping for Halloween costumes, and the planets are pulling all of us in two different directions. Do we indulge in some self-love or help everyone else out? Should I clean my house or run away for the weekend? Merely the stars f* cking know. Maybe you’ll drive upstate to stare at leaves, or volume an impromptu trip-up to Costa Rica because f* ck it, you don’t need a savings account. I can’t tell you what to do, but perhaps the stars can?
You’re feeling kind of trapped this weekend, Libra. It seems like f* cking everyone and everything needs your attention and you aren’t sure which is the most important. So, pay a little bit of attention to everything. Deal with your bff’s dating app drama, tackle a one or two of those household chores, and bang your SO so they can feel a little better. Then, give yourself some much needed YOU time on Sunday afternoon.
You’re feeling extra intuitive this weekend, Scorpio, so Saturday is a great opportunity to take a learning workshop or watch some Bob Ross recurs and try to hone abilities you don’t really otherwise have. You’re also feeling extra in touch with your feelings, so Saturday is a great opportunity to tackle some deep discussions with your partner, a family member, or a close friend.
The sun and Mars in Libra have you focusing on social jaunts and your friend group, Sagittarius. So, this isn’t really the weekend to cancel schemes( I know, I know ). It’s an especially good time to focus on your besties, since someone is going through some sh* t. Be a shoulder to cry on and a billfold to get pizza.
Think about every action you take this weekend, Capricorn. The planets are pulling you in different directions and messing with your feelings worse than that guy that ghosted you last week. Take a yoga class on Saturday, then head home to tackle some sh* t around the house. Do not text your ex, even though you feel like this is the weekend to reach out. Knock it off.
You got your mind on your money, Aquarius, and that isn’t a bad thing this weekend. Luckily, the planets are totally on your side and you’re likely to see some fiscal reward for all your hard work lately. Turns out those afternoons spent crying in your auto in the parking lot were totally worth it!
Focus on you this weekend, Pisces. Take Friday to head to a small concert or find a budding musician at that bar you like. Take Saturday for a morning stroll or hike, as communing with nature in a non-weird way is actually going to be super healing for you this weekend. Sunday, hobo it out with pizza and Netflix, because that’s the American way.
Mars has you feeling extra irritable this weekend, Aries, and wtf else is new? It’s best to avoid your extra sensitive friends and, instead, use Saturday as an opportunity to explore something semi-aggressive, like kick-boxing or bullying Trump supporters in anonymous chatrooms( are those still a thing ?). Take Sunday to go on a solo stroll and enjoy the festooning your neighbors have done for fall. They’re always so down with the seasons.
Time to read a f* cking book, Taurus. Seriously, Saturday and Sunday need to be dedicated to quiet “you” day, and what better way than to turn off the Tv and ignore everyone else? You could also use your weekend as an opportunity for a solo trip-up somewhere special, like upstate to see the leaves or an hour away to spend time( and money) at IKEA while watching couples argue over bedframes.
You’re feeling extra perceptive this weekend, Gemini, so don’t ignore your hunch on Friday night and Saturday. Listen to your intestine and do whatever you feel is going to trigger the most joy. Is it a getaway with your SO? A Hulu binge of Love It Or List It ( why the f* ck do they always love it ?)? Give your friends some love, too, and use Sunday as an opportunity for brunch and listening to their problems. Sure, it’s extra boring, but you may actually be able to offer some good advice this time around.
Find a style to expend all that energy and annoyance from the week, Cancer. Mars in Libra and Pluto in Capricorn are f* cking sh* t up, stimulating you feel extra vexed, so expend those pissy feelings at spin class, on a nice jog, or by slamming a Taco Bell party box. On top of all that, concentrating on you this weekend and try not to deal with everyone else’s bullsh* t.
It’s heart vs. intestine this weekend, Leo. Instead of picking one over the other, try to pay attention to both without driving yourself up a f* cking wall. So, run be social and cancel schemes. Tell your SO you’re needy AND need space. Basically, only dedicate some mixed messages all weekend and you’ll be solid. It’ll be a fun exercise trying to attain everyone understand your feelings.
Have an impromptu dinner party or get-together on Saturday, Virgo. It’ll reveal your friends how much they mean to you and make you feel hella popular. If you aren’t into the idea of having people at your place because you haven’t dusted since you moved in three years ago, head out on the town Friday night with the objectives of bonding with your gal pals.
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