Hibernation Vibes: Weekend Horoscopes November 1-3 | Betches

Happy psycho Scorpio season, Karen! Now that it’s November, we’re moving past the spooky season, and truly living our best lives by wearing body-concealing sweaters, the stretchiest high-waisted pants, and eating until we can’t feel feelings anymore. It’s all about that hibernation vibe, fam, so don’t expect this weekend to be too crazy.

Even though we’ve officially entered a period of Mercury in retrograde, try not to get too stressed about it. All hope is not lost for this weekend. The planets are ready to get cozy and push you into some romance, escapade, and whatever other bullsh* t they can muster up this weekend. Yay, stars.


Your gut is guiding you this weekend Scorpio, and not only to Pizza Hut and discount frozen taquitos at Costco. You’re extra sensitive to everything going on this weekend, so attaches importance to your feelings. The moon in Capricorn is highlighting communication, so make time to listen and have some meaningful convos this weekend–even if it’s just with your dog.


It’s the perfect weekend to review your f* cking finances, Sagittarius. It may seem bearing, but’ tis the season to sit tf down and create a household budget. What are you spending on cable every month? Electricity? Eating out? Spray tans? Having your money in order will help you feel more in control of other aspects of your life, so buckle down now to reap the benefits later. Once you see how much fund you’re literally lighting on fire by ordering delivery, you’ll likely feel pretty bad about yourself.


You’re all about friends and going out this weekend, Capricorn, thanks to a buncha planets f* cking off together in Capricorn. Ditch work early Friday( do it) and head out for dinner, drinks, and a weird club you can make fun of later. Reserve Saturday for activities great for Instagramming, like pumpkin picking, chugging seasonal brews, and wearing chunky scarves. Sunday, chill tf out.


Been having weird f* cking dreams lately, Aquarius? GOOD–pay attention to that sh* t. Take the weekend to chug wine and read through your dream journal, or merely Google why all your teeth keep falling out in your dreams. Otherwise, take Saturday and Sunday to cuddle up and enjoy the cooler climate your your SO or your BFF.


The planets in Scorpio are pushing you to explore other cultures, Pisces. No, we don’t mean exploring the culture of whatever your fav influencer is pushing online. We entail making a reservation with friends at a restaurant serving cuisine you’ve never tried. Or watching whatever new play your artsy friend told you about, but you haven’t actually bothered to look up. F* ck, run see a Russian ballet. Simply like, expand your horizons and sh* t. Ordering pho via GrubHub counts, btw.


Friday and Saturday have you feeling tugged in 80 different directions, Aries. You’ll is of the opinion that between what you want, what your partner wants, what your friends want, and what your mom wants there’s no brain space left for important sh* t, like which Bachelor couple is breaking up this week. Try to take it in stride, and by Sunday things will chill out.


You’re like, so cheerful, Taurus. You’re also feeling super adventurous on Saturday, so lean in to that sh* t and try some extreme rock climbing or hot yoga or sashimi with friends. Sunday is time to watch some HGTV reruns and get inspired to re-organize your closet. I mean, you could also head out for lunch with your roommate from college, but, honestly, drowning in DIY audios so much more fun.


Time for some self-care, Gemini. Listen to your bod and your mental state and act accordingly. Whether you need to sweat it out at SoulCycle, hang out in sweats all weekend, or blow $500 at a spa on a 90 -minute massage, do you. Saturday is the perfect day to pander, but take it easy Friday night, too.’ Tis the weekend for relaxation.


You’re feeling creative and confident, Cancer, and it looks good on you. You’ve been putting off indulging your artistic side, but this weekend is perfect to finally tackle those artsy fartsy projects. Yeah, go ahead and paint a chalkboard wall up your kitchen. Find shiplap and figure out how to get it on your bedroom wall. Or, like, depict a picture of a butterfly.


You may feel a little off this weekend, Leo, but bide close to home and everything will blow over. Concentrate on a quiet weekend with your loved ones and stay far away from anyone being overly dramatic about, like, anything. So, brunch with your bestie while she goes through the” what’s wrong with me ” ” why haven’t I met anyone” speech again is probably not the move this weekend.


Feel the looooove, Virgo. Plan a sexy date on Friday night with either a new interest or your SO, then take it to the next level at home if you’re like, cool with that. Saturday, get out of town with your partner and drive around looking at foliage. It’s like, the most basic fall sh* t you can do for free.


You need to relieve some stress, Libra. After this week at work, things need to take a chill turn over the weekend, but only you can control that sh* t. You may get dragged into household drama, but stay far away from anyone else’s bullsh* t. You’ve got enough on your plate.

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