Chill Like The Weather: Weekend Horoscopes September 6-8 | Betches

As Hurricane Dorian bashes the southeast( and my in-laws — hope y’all got enough water, fam ), I’m wondering if our horoscopes heralded nature’s fury. I guess we can interpret things pretty much however we want though, right? Tote. That was deep!

Anyway, it’s still Virgo season, and it’s almost period for us to hide our tired summertime bods under adorable scarves and sweaters, so get ready.


MASS VIRGO ENERGY! I guess, it being your like, month and all, you’ll notice an energetic and positive streak all weekend long. You’ve got alllll the planets on your side, so it isn’t really any astonish that Saturday and Sunday you’ll be in the f* cking zone. Plan something fun like a hike, picnic, or, if you dislike the outdoors, something in a dimly lit room with lots of alcohol. Yay!


Get your OM on, Libra. Start the weekend off with some guided meditation, or just some goddamn peace and quiet, and a good cup of coffee. Jupiter is pushing you to communicate, so a brunch out with friends that are good listeners could be super beneficial.


Get out of the house, Scorpio. It’s a stellar weekend to expend out and about with friends, so try not to cancel plans this weekend, even though the couch( and Netflix) is calling to you. You may get some weird jaunt requests from friends, like a first time Crossfit class or a volunteer litter removal project. Only go with it. It’ll pay off like, cosmically speaking.


Sweatpants on repeat, Sagittarius. You’ve had kind of a roller coaster of a week, so don’t feel guilty locking the door, binge watching Parks and Rec , and staying in your loungewear all f* cking weekend. If you do leave the house, pamper yourself with a massage or v expensive hair treatment. Honestly, you’ve earned that sh* t.


The moon is attaining moves and you’re reap the benefits, Capricorn. Impart your wisdom and advice unto others this weekend a la a girls brunch, introspective hike, or general get-together. Volunteering could also be a great move for you this weekend, both for helping you feel emotionally fulfilled AND for potentially satisfying someone special. Ooo la la.


Friday night is perfect for get your drank on, Aquarius. Head out and have a wild night, since you kind of haven’t in awhile. Take it easy on Saturday and spend some time with yourself. Eat a personal pizza, buy a new sex toy–whatever.


There’s only one of you Pisces, and it’s getting f* cking vexing. Because you can’t time travelling or like, clone yourself, you’ll need to spend this weekend prioritizing and getting organized. There will never quite be enough time in the day for you, but there is time to knock out the most important to-dos if you plan accordingly.


Time to de-stress, Aries. Think long and hard on Friday about what helps you relax the most, then induce those plans for Saturday and Sunday. Whether it’s a hotel bide for one, an 80 -minute massage, a $500 cut and colour at your fav salon, or a grueling workout with that hot personal trainer followed by Taco Bell to ruin it, merely do you.


Slow the f* ck down, Taurus. You’re constantly rushing through sh* t, so it is required to take this weekend to slow it all down and think about what you’re actually doing. Try some slow, sweaty yoga on Saturday morning, then head out for a slow-paced lunch for one or with a friend without ever glancing at the clock. Pretend you’re in Europe on vacay and that time doesn’t exist. You’ll be able to go back to work on Monday feeling refreshed and renewed. Praise be.


If things are feeling out of control, focus on a creative pursuit this weekend, Gemini. Maybe you’ve been dying to redecorate your bedroom, or creatively hide your partner’s college-era music posters. Whatever it is, getting yourself in a DIY zone this weekend will help take your intellect off other stressors.


Time to take a pottery/ painting/ wine tasting class, Cancer. This is a prime weekend to explore something that brings your senses into play, so take advantage, fam. Your romantic outlook is also HOT this weekend, so plan a date night with your SO or go ahead and get back on those apps.


Time to socialize, Leo. You’re used to being the center of attention, so get out and hog the spotlight a little on Friday night. There’s a good chance that your bold dance moves will attract someone that’ll at least be a decent hookup. Can’t complain. Saturday and Sunday are great for quiet outings with friends or Taco Bell alone in your apartment. All in all, it’s shaping up to be a 10/10 weekend.

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